Its crazy how He is breaking me down. Seems to me that I can’t get through any Cru/Campus House service without being totally mind-blown and/or crying these days. It’s a great thing, though.
First of all, Cru the other night was wonderful. I was really hit with a truth in my life: I was just living to be one of those people who get married, have a nice job, have kids, etc. And while all those things are great and I DO want them, that is not what I should be living for. I need to be living for the One who gave it all for me. How can I not? He has given me everything, so why have I not been giving Him everything in return? Until I can glorify God through things like a husband and family, I am going to glorify Him through my life as it is now.
Secondly, Campus House hit me with some serious truths this morning. Sometimes just hearing the power of the gospel is enough to take a person down. Ladies and Gents, it did. I mean with the gospel, the control I try to take on my life is confronted. If I just let go, I can experience an amazing freedom. Something I most definitely need to work on. Most importantly, I learned that the gospel doesn’t gloss over my past and pretend it didn’t happen. It saves me from it. And although it won’t just go away, and my struggles won’t go away, through the gospel [aka Jesus dying for me so that I don’t have to feel the guilt of imperfection] I can be healed and fight my past from overcoming me.
Knowing all that, it just makes me want to immerse myself in Christ even more.
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.
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