Grace that is unrelenting.

Its crazy how He is breaking me down. Seems to me that I can’t get through any Cru/Campus House service without being totally mind-blown and/or crying these days. It’s a great thing, though.

First of all, Cru the other night was wonderful. I was really hit with a truth in my life: I was just living to be one of those people who get married, have a nice job, have kids, etc. And while all those things are great and I DO want them, that is not what I should be living for. I need to be living for the One who gave it all for me. How can I not? He has given me everything, so why have I not been giving Him everything in return? Until I can glorify God through things like a husband and family, I am going to glorify Him through my life as it is now.

Secondly, Campus House hit me with some serious truths this morning. Sometimes just hearing the power of the gospel is enough to take a person down. Ladies and Gents, it did. I mean with the gospel, the control I try to take on my life is confronted. If I just let go, I can experience an amazing freedom. Something I most definitely need to work on. Most importantly, I learned that the gospel doesn’t gloss over my past and pretend it didn’t happen. It saves me from it. And although it won’t just go away, and my struggles won’t go away, through the gospel [aka Jesus dying for me so that I don’t have to feel the guilt of imperfection] I can be healed and fight my past from overcoming me.

Knowing all that, it just makes me want to immerse myself in Christ even more.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face,

And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace.

Let Love EXPLODE

Hello, friends.

The first week of classes has come to a close.

Since coming back to school, it's like I'm experiencing a brand new life. I have changed so much lately.

It's like God has given me the strength to finally be ME. I am able to come out of my shell now and be who I truly am. There is a transformation working in my heart and it is definitely one of the things I am most thankful for so far this year.

The other is my amazing friends. I feel so blessed to have so many people in my life that care for me. AND they were willing to forgive me for my less-than-enthusiastic attitude I had about everything last year. It's so awesome to be surrounded by a community of believers that are able to lift me up, give me advice, and most importantly give me love.

God has forgiven me for all of my past. It is the most freeing feeling. But, even though I know I'm forgiven, sometimes my past likes to come back and mess with me. It's scary sometimes, because although I know all these things are forgiven, it doesn't mean that my sinful nature can't come back. That is probably one of the things I fear most in my life. Satan can really get me down with the thoughts of my past sometimes.

God has so much grace for me and is continually challenging me. What a wonderfully blessed life I get to live.

"Let love EXPLODE and bring the dead to life. A love so bold to bring a revolution somehow."

^Such a good line. I'm gonna let His love explode in my life.

Amazing Compassion

Man. I'm just in astonishment right now at God's forgiveness.

I mean, seriously. He took ALL our sins on that cross. Every. Single. One. Not just some and not just someone else's.

I read in a book a new perspective on this. The author said that when Jesus was on that cross, He was relentlessly taking the blame for our sins. His father, who loved Him more than anyone, was filled with reproach and rebuked Him for every sin that He did not commit. Stealing, lying, cheating, sexual immorality, judging, you name it...He took the blame.

I think of the guilt and shame I feel after I do something I know is wrong. I can't even imagine feeling that shame and guilt AND every other possible sin's shame along with it. How did he do it? I'm absolutely amazed.

Thank you, Jesus, for taking compassion on us and atoning for all our sins.