VBSP2012: Experience, Embrace, Engage.

My first week in Virginia Beach has certainly been an interesting one. What an emotional roller coaster! Praise the Lord for safe travels with all my Purdue friends (and Amelia, an IU student), as we drove through the night last Friday.

The past couple weeks, as project grew closer, I honestly tried not to think too much about it. I was most certainly scared, and didn't know at all what to expect. When we arrived, a few of us went ahead and applied for a job, and then we had some free time until we had anything to do. We're living at the lovely Cerca Del Mar, which is a motel just a few blocks from the beach. I use the term "lovely" loosely. It's not that lovely. But as my four roommates and I continue to make it our home, it's growing on me.

The first couple days here were absolutely terrifying to me. I don't know if I've ever felt so nervous in my life. I was constantly in prayer, asking God to reveal to me why I'm here and to take the nervousness and fear away. God for sure had a lot to show me in those first couple of days. I learned very quickly that this fear I was feeling, though not uncommon, was something that I had let hold me back in other areas of my life. I know that it is for sure something that I'm going to have to work through this summer, and lean on the Lord constantly for.

The first couple days were a whirlwind of meeting new people (which has been awesome) and going through orientation. The Lord amazingly provided me with a job the day after I got here! I work at Sunsations (a beach souvenir shop) as a cashier. It's been a blessing, for sure, and it's been cool to see how He's already creating opportunities for ministry. I started work on Friday, and I'm going to be working 8 hour shifts four days a week with a 6 hour shift on Saturdays. Such a blessing.

Coming here has been so good for my relationship with Christ. I definitely had grown away from him in the last couple weeks when I was at home. I was sort of just sitting on my faith, waiting for something to happen. Getting here and making time for God has been so good, and I desperately missed Him and need Him. It's been cool to just sit down and write out some prayers, which have led me to see things in my life that have been bothering me that I didn't even know about. I also think that I have a lot of unresolved problems in my life that I am going to have to take a likely painful but healthy look at this summer.

While we're here, we're also going to be sharing the gospel to people around Virginia Beach. We've gone out twice, and it has been so cool to see the Lord moving through us. We've had around 15 people come to the Lord already! I am so psyched to continue to share, and I really hope that I get the privilege to lead someone to Christ this summer.

Now, I'm feeling very blessed to be here. The nerves have mostly gone away, and I'm ready to make changes. This will probably be an extremely challenging summer for me, but I'm excited. It's hard being away from my family, Nick, and my friends. I miss you all so very much! But I hope that you will continue to pray for me, and I am so thankful for all of you for supporting me in this project.
Love you all!

Thanks, friends.

I have been so happy lately.

I was talking with two of my best friends today at Greyhouse, and I was just amazed at how blessed I have been these past couple of months.
I guess the main thing God is working through for me lately is relationships. I've never been so happy to just be with people around me before. I honestly believe that that starts with my relationship with Christ. Since the beginning of the semester, the Lord has really been working on my heart and changing me continually.
It's so crazy how He is changing my perception of myself. I always thought that I was a more introverted and shy person, but He is showing me that my personality has just been waiting to come out all this time. Now I feel extroverted, and like this is the real me that I've been waiting to find.

Life is hard. I won't deny that. But I guess the difference is that when I'm finding my peace in Christ, all the hard stuff doesn't seem so hard. It feels like I can be joyful, even though it IS hard.

Anyway, I just want to thank you all. I know that last year I was kinda a dull friend. Thanks for accepting me and getting to know me all over again. I thank the Lord for you all everyday :)

Draw Near to the Throne

It's been a while. Life has been crazy, but good.
I've been super involved with Cru lately, which has been such a blessing in my life. We're doing a campaign called I Am Second. (iamsecond.com, check it out.) It has been a stretch, and has really asked us all to step out in our faith. It's really cool to see God move through that, though.

In this crazy busy semester, I'm finding myself re-evaluating a lot of things in my life. Mainly, I'm asking myself, "who am I?" It's a hard question to have to ask yourself at the age of 20. It feels like that is something that I should know. But, up until recently I've placed my identity in SO many things other than Christ. So how could I know who I am?

Campus House on Sunday helped me to know that while I'm trying to put my identity in Christ, the "meantime" doesn't have to mean "wasted time." Some things we talked about were quite in line with my life.

• Humble yourself: by saying "I'll never change" you're saying that you don't believe in the power of God. I've been trying to humble myself and let God change me. 
• Don't try to create your own reality: something I've been doing for a long time, and it's time to give it up.
• Know that God is doing something in the midst of what you're going through: definitely something I need reminded of often. 
• Be alert. Satan will try to pull you into self-sufficiency: He has. I am trying to be aware of that, and realize daily that God is offering me His help. I just have to take it.
• The stuff we're going through is real: God can be here for my problems and other people's problems that may seem bigger than mine. God is WAY bigger than we can even imagine. And I question if He can be here for my problems or if He thinks they're significant? Why?

In the midst of hurt and confusion, we can take solace in the power of Christ.

Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
-Hebrews 4:16

So that's what I'm doing. It's hard sometimes, but it's way better than trying to do life on my own.

Servants of the Lord

It's so easy to forget what we're here for. I do it all the time. I get caught up in what's going on in my life and totally forget the most important things.

We were made for God by God. We were made to be servants. To spread His word, to adore Him (in the fraction we are capable) in the way He adores us.

The definition of servant: a devoted and helpful follower or supporter: a tireless servant of God. 
"A tireless servant of God" was actually used in the definition as an example.

To be a servant is to be devoted, to be helpful, and to be tireless.
How often am I actually devoted and tireless as a servant of God? Most of the time, I don't even know what that looks like.

The truth is, we were made to serve Him. That is our purpose of being put on this earth. He knew that when He thought of us. When we let things that are in our lives get in the way of this true purpose--of this calling--we better be prepared to lose them. God will not let anything stand in the way of His purposes. No matter how painful it may be, He knows what is better for us, and if that means taking something that we're clinging to, He will do it.

"And now the Lord says, he who formed me from the womb to be his servant..."
Isaiah 49:5a

"You are my servant in whom I will be glorified."
Isaiah 49:3

"...I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the ends of the earth."
Isaiah 49:6b

He wants us to be His light to the world: through our actions on this earth, through worship, and through spreading His word.

Come, magnify the Son: Savior of the world, the hope for everyone. 
-Spirit Fall, Chris Tomlin

What Goes Unnoticed

I've been really noticing hurt lately.

Not just in myself, but in those around me. 

How can something so big go so unnoticed? I mean, someone could be hurting so much, but no one would ever know. It's so upsetting to me. It goes unnoticed partly because people put up a front. But I think it's mostly because no one takes the time to ask.

The other day, one of my friends asked me how I was doing. I said "alright," but I had actually had a pretty crappy day. Instead of just accepting that though, my friend kept pushing through. I really appreciate that. They weren't overbearing, but at the same time I got the chance to sort through how I was feeling, which was really helpful. 

Why can't we all do this? So many people are just wishing for someone to ask and truly care how they are. How many people have a front they put up? Acting funny, being standoffish, asking all about how you are so that the focus will stay off them? Just think about it. Look around you, even, and I guarantee you'll see it in the faces that are there. 

God wants for us to be there for each other. That's the whole reason He created community: so that we can listen to each other and build each other up and pray for each other. And not only that, but caring for people is one of the things that lets God's light shine through us.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

-John 13:35

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11

Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

Idols.

So what happens when learning reaches a dead end?

This past week has been slightly hard for me in the learning department. I just felt like I was being stagnant, not continuing to grow like I so desperately wanted.

I guess that's why God provided me with the reason it is happening.

This weekend Katie and I stayed at my sister's house in Chicago. It was so much fun! But, the part I want to talk about is what I learned at church--which was the answer I'd been looking for.

The speaker at church talked a little about idols. He said to ask yourself these questions:

What do you find yourself talking about most?

What dominates your thoughts?

Whatever your answer is, that is probably an idol in your life. Well, there it is. I knew right away what my current idol is.

This idol has definitely been standing in the way of my growth. When all you think about is something other than God, how can you grow IN God?

And, when I'm not growing in God, that gives Satan a chance to attack my mind and make me feel really insecure in who I am.

I'm not exactly sure how to go about removing an idol from my life, but I'm thinking this might help:

"...we know that 'an idol has no real existence', and that 'there is no God but one.' For although there may be so-called gods in heaven and on earth--as indeed there are many "gods" and many "lords"--yet for us there is one God, the Father, from whom are all things and for whom we exist, and one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom are all things and through whom we exist."

-1 Corinthians 8:4-6

The things that stick out to me in that are:

-idols don't really exist.

-there is only ONE God.

-all things are from Him.

-everything, us included, exists FOR Him.

So how could He not be my utmost thought? I guess it's a human flaw. But I want to fight it. I want to keep growing.

The truth is, the gospel show s us the emptiness of our idols, and it shows us how fulfilled we can truly be through God. YES.

Please Be My Strength

Such a beautiful song.

Please Be My Strength

I've tried to stand my ground
I've tried to understand
But I can't seem to find
My faith again

Like water on the sand
Or grasping at the wind
I keep on falling short

So please be my strength
Please be my strength
'Cause I don't have any more
I don't have any more

I'm looking for a place
Where I can plant my faith
One thing I know for sure

I cannot create it
And I cannot sustain it
It's Your love
That's keeping me

Please be my strength
Please be my strength
I don't have any more
I don't have any more

And at my final breath
I hope that I can say
I fought the good fight
Of faith

I pray your glory shines
This doubting heart of mine
And all would know that You

You are my strength
You are my strength
You and You alone
You keep bringing me back home

Oh, You are my strength
You are my strength
You and You alone
Keep bringing me back home

It's You and You alone
Bringing me back home